Woke up at 5am this morning by the feeling of my bladder about to erupt from all the water I’ve been drinking to make sure I’m fully hydrated in this sweltering heat! 

How annoying! I really dislike these random wake ups when I’m having the sweetest sleep and the most amazing dreams. But hey, I suppose it’s all part of this new journey I’m embarking on. 

Usually I am able to fall right back to sleep, well after a few twist and turns and yawns and after checking my phone quickly. But this morning was different. I laid there, fan blowing on me as I tried to comprehend the heat, and I just could NOT get back to sleep! 

Fears started to erupt. I felt the devil was playing games with me. So immediately I turned to my bible app and started reading the two bible plans that I usually start my day with. 

I’ve noticed these plans majority of the time relate to something I’m going through, and today’s message spoke to me in a strange way. 

‘Use the gift God has given you’. 

I know the gift God has given me, I’ve been using this for the past 5/6 years, and although I feel I’ve made some sort of progress, the end still seems so far away! 

What am I not doing right? I lay there and calculate that there is 6 months left of the year, 6 months left of this journey before my whole life changes! Something needs to give? 

I know what I’m good at, and I know something will make way for me to capitalise on my gift from God so I can be successful and make a change! 

It’s normal to worry, but when you let the worry and fear consume you, it shows you are doubting God! As hard as it seems to me right now, I’m still so grateful. Grateful that I am able to wake up everyday and thank God for my life, grateful I have a roof over my head, a car to drive, loving parents, supporting friends, the best partner anybody could EVER wish for! So I don’t complain. Instead I talk to God and I say: 

“Although the end seems so far, I don’t know how, I don’t know when, but I know something is going to happen. And when it does my testimony will be GREAT! So powerful that it will inspire others to keep going and never give up!”

The days are actually going so fast, although to me ironically it feels like forever because I’m counting down, so I need to step up, stay faithed up and continue on this beautiful journey God has blessed me with! 

Another random post, writing helps me to release and reflect and I just hope someone else is able to relate and hopefully this can also inspire! 

To end this, just to remind you I’m running (well perhaps jogging) 5K in memory of my beautiful Nisi who sadly lost her life to cancer last year! It’s her birthday next month, and my run takes place on July 2nd! All donations would be truly appreciated! 

Please do donate what you can by clicking this link: 


Ciao x 

R.I.P Princess! I miss you everyday ❤️

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