Dealing With Grief

Saturday 3rd September 2016 at around 7.15am, a day I will NEVER forget!

My phone is always on silent as I sleep, but one night I forgot to put it on silent, which meant this one phone call at 7.15am woke me up. It was a call from my good friend Nisi’s sister, she called to tell me my beautiful princess Nisi had passed away.

A beautiful 26-year-old girl had died, died of cancer.

I remember when Nisi drove to my house in January, she said “I need to speak to you”. Automatically I thought she was pregnant lol, but she came to deliver bad news that she had been diagnosed with lung cancer. Nisi was in the middle of her masters, she wanted to be a doctor, but the illness would not allow her to continue.

2016 started off real tough for her, but through everything she remained strong. The chemotherapy started, and that’s when I felt like I was loosing my friend. She became weak, tired and lost so much weight but through it she remained optimistic and promised me she would be okay.

We continued to pray and leave everything in God’s hands but as time went on my friend became weaker and weaker.

We had plans, we said we would go to Barbados when she pulled through but sadly God had other plans for her.

I’ve lost family (grandparents/uncle) to cancer before, but I have never experienced loosing a friend so young so quickly. It took a huge toll on me, and I honestly didn’t know how to deal with the heartache and pain. Knowing I would never see her beautiful smile again or hear her goofy laugh. I’m not one to express my emotions at all but this was HUGE and I honestly didn’t know how to deal with it all.

For two weeks I couldn’t sleep properly, restless nights, bad dreams, fear took over my life. I had so many questions. God why did you take my friend away? God why have you left her mum without a daughter? God she wanted to be a doctor, why didn’t you let her?

I read something one day as I grieved the passing of Nisi it read “God has a purpose through every trial or heartache we go through…Everything we experience in life has to first be sifted through God for His approval. If He allows something to greatly break your heart, you can be guaranteed He has a great purpose for it.” 

I truly believe this situation allowed me to get closer to certain friends, and even rekindle friendships from university as we all came together again for the first time since we graduated in 2011 to bury our dear friend. It also made me want to work harder!!

For all of you that know what I do, I am an aspiring music manager, not all my “friends” have supported me, but Nisi did, and that really is all I needed to get back on my feet and get back on my hustle! Knowing she believes in me gives me confidence and persistence to make it!

So for any of you reading this that could be going from some type of grief, please know this is a temporary feeling. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to want to be alone, it’s okay to hide away, be in touch with your emotions, don’t shy away from it. One thing though, never ever loose your faith, understand that everything will be okay.

This link could potentially help anyone going through grief: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief-loss/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm.

I’ve also found comfort in reading a bible plan on the Holy Bible app. So for all my Christian’s find peace in reading this:’Grief Bites: A New Approach to Growing Through Grief’. Check it out here: http://bible.com/r/Du.

Life is so precious! We need to enjoy every second we have here, because honestly tomorrow is not promised to any of us! Get rid of all the negativity in your life, remain positive and optimistic to reach your dreams!

Gone but never forgotten my princess!

R.I.P Nisi ❤️

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